If you have clicked here because you’ve been labeled infertile, I wish to speak to your heart right now in a way that only another infertile person can. I too, have been labeled infertile for the last 18 years by doctors and even longer than that by personal struggle. Since I was a child, I have been waiting for the day when I would birth a baby. I wish to encourage you.

Fist of all I would like to start by praying for you.

Lord Jesus, I pray for the individual who is reading this letter of love. I pray that through this letter, You would begin a process of healing of which she so deeply desires and seeks. Lord, I pray that Your truth would shine so brightly that she cannot deny Your truth and hand upon her. I pray that the world and its distractions would not hinder her from hearing Your voice as You gently speak to her. And Lord, most of all, I pray that in a very powerful way today, You would draw her into a more meaningful and personal relationship with You; the One who made and created, loves and knows her as no other person can.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

Have you ever asked yourself why it is that so many of the Lord’s people within the Bible suffered hardship? I have, and it’s taken me many years to really understand the answer. If the Lord loves me why would He allow me to suffer as I have with infertility? Is He testing me as the scriptures say He tested Job? Does He want to see if I will turn from Him. Maybe so, but I think with infertility it goes far beyond a test. I think He’s looking to do much more.

Let’s talk about boats for a moment.

Have you noticed that in the Bible, the Lord used boats as vehicles for teaching His people life-altering lessons? For example:

• Jonah was on a boat when he attempted to run from the will of the Lord. He found himself tossed into the sea and swallowed up within another type of sea vehicle; a giant fish.

• The disciples were instructed to get into a boat two different times and both times the Lord used the boat experience to teach them what they were not learning on land.

I find it interesting that God has to get His people into a place like the sea, where they are not in control and there is no escape. In the Book of Matthew, when Jesus was on land, He demonstrated His power and authority by miracles such as feeding the multitudes on two separate occasions. Both times, instead of His disciples seeing the power of God, they were focused on the physical aspect of what happened. So the Lord instructed them to get into the boat.

In the first boating experience, the waves covered the ship and the disciples woke Jesus who was sleeping and said, “Lord, save us: we perish!”. (Matthew 8:23-27) In the second boating experience, the Lord walked on water to join them as they were tossed about in a raging sea. This time, they fell to pieces in fear because they reasoned they were seeing a ghost and that the sea would kill them. But both times the Lord showed Himself to be in authority over the wind, the raging water and the fierceness of the sea. He calmed their fears and proved that nothing was outside of His control. He had power to do anything, if only they would trust and believe in Him.

God desires to be Lord in our lives. He desires that we would trust Him fully. In and of ourselves, we are of a sin nature. He has to change that strong will and sin nature into a useful reflection of Himself. Just as the disciples, we need to get into the boat and be broken. We need to learn the hard lessons He takes us through and learn to trust Him. It is the boating experiences in our lives that will finally open our eyes to see and understand who He is and who we are not.

Infertility is a frightening storm.

I still remember the day I lost the baby of our only pregnancy. I remember standing in a quiet place, trying hard to hide from the world as heart-wrenching sobs of disappointment tore through me. I had trusted the Lord, yet He’d taken our joy from us. In that moment of time, all I could see was a life devoid of all I’d ever hoped and dreamed for; the darkness of an empty pit. There was nothing I could do to change anything.

After my lessons upon the raging waters of my infertility, I can say with all honesty that I am thankful. I am a different person than I was before I learned to trust Jesus. I see that the Lord had a destination for me of greater joy than I never dreamed. I see that His way was so much better than anything I had wanted for myself.

For, His ways are higher than our ways and
His thoughts are past finding out. (Isaiah 55:8)

We have to trust Him and allow ourselves to be humbled by Him. Often along my journey, I have heard the Lord tell me, ‘No’, or ‘Wait’. These are always words I struggle to accept, but each time I do and lay my will down to obey His, I find it is always best. I have learned to trust Him with every part of my life. In return, I have found blessings and joy I never thought possible waiting for me on the other side of obedience.

I pray that today you, too, would begin to see your time in the boat differently. That today, you would begin to understand that you are in this place because the Lord wants to work powerfully within your life. He wants to transform you into an obedient servant that is not afraid of the water and content to be in the boat for as long as He deems necessary. Let Him guide you to where He chooses and transform you into whatever He wants you to be.

That you, also, will say,

Lord Jesus, have Your way in me.

~ Tracy